Raymond Bishop Crary

Raymond Bishop Crary
April 22, 1960 - November 11, 2019

On April 22,1960 in Brevard, NC, Raymond Bishop Crary was born to proud parents David Leigh Crary and Merlyn Davis Crary. A rebel from the very beginning, Raymond made his appearance far too early, and in the wrong location, choosing the side of the road en route to the hospital for his first meeting with his father and mother. On November 11, 2019, Raymond left this world the same way he came in, a rebel to the last. Raymond is survived by his siblings: David Lee Crary (with wife Stacey) and Elisabeth Crary Parris, and a whole host of honorary children and grandchildren through those siblings in Marietta, SC and in FL, whom he often claimed for his own… among them, the Crary’s: Candice (Norris), Heather (Green), David Leigh, Brandy, Jonathon, Jack, Latasha, Zachary, Millie, Zoey, and Tucker; the Greens: Landon and Nolan; and the Wrights: Haleigh, Katlyne, and Saphira. Raymond’s favorite pasttime was watching his nieces and nephews enjoy the electronic toys, go carts, or fireworks that he bought to entertain them, and he was not adverse to teaching the older ones to drive, remaining good-natured despite grinding gears and close calls.

Born ailing in 1960 with tetralogy of fallot, a severe abnormality of the heart, Raymond was not expected to live or thrive for very long. His father refused the standard but risky surgery available at the time because it left very little room for growth and seemed to result in almost certain death after a few years. He elected instead an experimental procedure that still left a hole in Raymond’s heart and caused much more of an uphill battle for oxygen all through his childhood. From that point on, a battle ensued between mother and father that lasted throughout Raymond’s childhood and into his adulthood… one trying to protect and shelter Raymond completely from any source of stress or potential harm, the other trying to constantly push and shove and pull him out into life so that he would build up his strength and endurance and survive.
As a result, Raymond loved his mother deeply, keeping her name on his bank account and maintaining her post office box for almost twenty years after her death to honor her memory, but sadly he only began to understand how much his father loved him in the last few years of his life.
Not expecting to live very long, Raymond spent his early life defying death and living each day as though it were his last. He pushed his body to the limit, swimming, hiking, high diving from cliffs, racing cars and motorcycles, trying every drug known to man to find elusive happiness, drinking, and loving the ladies. He alternated between bouts of absolute selfishness and amazing generosity, and he often did not understand where his conflicts originated. Raymond held a distrust for the ladies, but he did fall deeply and instantly in love once with a brown-eyed girl from Tennessee, whom he married during his younger years. The marriage didn’t work out, though, and he never trusted anyone enough to offer his heart again. He often said, “I just don’t understand women. Hell, women don’t even understand women!”
Raymond was a born tinker, taking mechanical objects apart from an early age, studying them, and figuring out how to fix them. By his early teens, he was retrieving all types of machinery from the landfill near his home, repairing them, and putting them into use or giving them to anyone who needed them. He revived many old rusty dirt bikes, go carts, microwaves, and numerous other appliances all his life, as he hated to see “good machinery“ go to waste. He worked many different jobs: small engine repair, car mechanic, boat mechanic, industrial insulation, and welding, to name a few, and he did them all well. He worked for the city of Greenville nearly ten years as a head mechanic in the parks and grounds department, until his health finally became too poor for him to be able to continue to work.
Raymond spent the last decade of his life taking care of his best friend, Jerry Richardson, now deceased, who had become mostly wheeelchair-bound in the years before his death. Although Raymond’s own health had deteriorated greatly, resulting in numerous hospital stays each year, he still kept their shared property landscaped and maintained beautifully, he grew an outstanding garden yearly, and he made sure that Jerry ate regular, home-cooked meals. Having enjoyed Jerry’s friendship in the good times, Raymond would not desert him in the bad times, no matter how difficult life occasionally became for the two of them. Raymond credited his brother David Crary and friends, Kristian and Rochelle Kjos, for keeping him and Jerry going for so many years, once their health became so precarious.
Raymond loved animals all of his life. A few of his constant companions everywhere that he wandered for years were Barf, then Angus, then Bailey, and then finally Clyde, who was with him when he died. He spoke of his pets as old friends, years after they were gone, sometimes with tears in his eyes, and the first friend that he made in any new place was usually the dog of the house. Although an avid shootist, he was not an avid hunter, killing only a few times for food or in self defense, as in the case of an aggressive bear recently raiding his freezer. Raymond loved nature, saying that a man could not help but to find God, if he spent enough time outside studying the leaves in the trees, smelling the breeze, and seeing the beauty of everything God gave us. He felt like God helped him personally many times in his life, having come close to death so often, and he often prayed for his family when he felt that they needed divine intervention.
Along with the constant threat of his heart failing him and the many other illnesses that he fought daily, Raymond battled severe pain for much of his life, caused by old injuries from car accidents and arthritis, and he struggled with severe depression. Yet, almost everyone who knew him remembers the most his constant smile and infectious good humor, his funny anecdotes, and his willing ear. It made him feel better to make other people feel better, and he was never too busy to lend a hand if he saw where one was needed, often stopping to help strangers on the side of the road, and leaving friends in his wake.
Raymond would be surprised if he knew how sorely he will be missed, but missed he will be, as brother, uncle, playmate, and as friend. We all liked to believe that he was indestructible, but even the indestructible come to an end.